Very very Not Safe For Work: 
by @Polychromantium

People asked me to collect these in a book with illustrations, As I am too sick to do that, here's the list as is, with a few new editions. If you like this and my other tweets and work, please consider donating at 


Oh you disappointing little poop turtle. You whiny useless tiny barfcricket. Go chew a urinal cake, you pubestink. 

You fart-stalking dickpacket, You strained ass-wine, You vile bloodsnot, Hold your sewer tongue and find a dung cave you donkey whiffer!

Your complaint is bullshit and you are a glass of recycled mule piss. Launch yourself into the sun, dirtfucker. 

Hi, you're a dumptruck of flaming shitmaggots. Fuck entirely the hell off the earth & give yourself a cactus enema.  

Bitchy McWhinePants is the best you can do, you pus-spewing fistula? You're more disappointing than a drunk Santa

Aren't you the cool apathetic cock-wart for trying to comment on shit you know fuck all about. 

Go chew a grenade, you sack of whining anuses. 

Haha what a pisshole. What a barking shit basket. What a cheese turd. You are hilarious, scumnuts.

It's okay to admit you're a marble-gumming toadfucker. 

You are so far wrong it's like you're trying to tie your shoes through your butthole. Just stop.

Fuck that and fuck you, pissmouth. Seriously close your tongue-hole, you're spilling urine everywhere. 

So again, you bullshitting sack of piss-fucking maggot magnets, get the fuck out. 

Tangling with terrible turdlets is so much more refreshing the work I normally do.

Staple your fingers to your anus and go self stimulate elsewhere, snailfucker. Your disingenuous vomit bores me.

Ask the proctologist who found your head, you fart cock. 

Well you are the most articulate witty sack of shit-covered duck penises ever to assume I give a flying fuck.

Why are you such a rectal vacuum? It's ok to just admit you're a turd-swamp.

Holy mice penises this thread exploded like a rabbit in a Viagra factory.

Or maybe it's god's way of saying you're a mouse-fucking vomit-box, you sentient rectum. 

Who ever called you that probably smells like stale skunk-farts and unwashed butt, and has  a truck of marbles shoved up their ass.

You’re a douche cannon. When you open your mouth douchebags just go shooting out everywhere.

 Your words sparkle with the same wisdom as emitted from a dying cow's ass, with twice the stink.

Listen,  you shitboxed piss ribbon, don't be such a fuck wall of assnozzles.

You ever wonder what a gnat-fart sounds like? It sounds like you, every time you open your mouth. Just endless high pitched peeping.

You’re like a tasty snickerdoodle, if they replaced all the doodle with cat-vomit.

Well aren’t you just a stack of puke pancakes soaked in shitfuck syrup and buttered with buttmuching ignorance?

I’ve seen pools of piss with better logic than you, poop-pony.

Oh go fuck a firehose up the nose, you vainglorious vomit-sack.

You are a rectal wart-goblin. See a proctologist and get your head fixed, buttface. 

Fuck you, you racist donkey-faced shit-yodeling fart-maggot.

Talking to you is like having sex. With a dental drill. Up the butt. While on fire. Listening to elevator music.  

Now staple your fingers together and eat a box of FuckOff Charms

You are a piss dribbling wrench-mouthed shitcock with your head so far up your ass you can kiss your prostate. Get the fuck out. My gods you are a privileged assboil,  you wheedling cock-slime, you fuckbarker, you shitpoodle. you cock-beetle, you fart-martini, you soggy crate of crap-covered yoyo-strings, you pusticled labial-wart,  you twirled poop twig. YOU UNDER CHEWED SHIT CARROT, YOU MISPUKED TATERTOT, YOU SNIVELLING BUCKET OF BUTTOCKS, YOU SMELLY FISHBANGER,  YOU DUCK-DICKED ASS BALL,  YOU SACK OF RECTAL SNOT.  YOU TREE SODOMIZER! YOU LEAF BANGING MONUMENT TO PARENTAL DISAPPOINTMENT! YOU SAND-CROTCHED FLEA FUCKER. YOU ENTITLED IGNORANT LITTLE  NOSEFUCK