Don't hold back

The joy of getting older is relearning the universe you could have sworn you knew by heart the day before. Sometimes you get to rediscover is a huge thing aptly named for the larger universe we see and that vast beyond that we don't see yet. Sometimes your universe is a tiny little room with you and a two year old boy who also happens to be an amazing teacher of really important life lessons, like humility, patience, and unbridled joy.

Joy for no reason other than how awesome it is to exist, right now, right at this moment. My son doesn't hold back from his happiness, and he's happy just because he is. No reasons, no causes, no inspirations. He wakes up, and unless something is bothering him, his default state is sheer happiness. Give the kid a stick and he's in Nirvana. Cookie? Seventh level of heaven on Earth. 

Why? No reason, just because.

Maybe the because is that deep down he knows how awesome existing is. And in the face of that glee, that full throttle energetic leaping love for fun, all my bullshit fears seem kind of dumb. (Because they are.)

Some people are worried that my financial situation is dire. And i won't kid you, I'm concerned, on one level. But time and time again life has a way of making it ok. One day at a time, yes? Despite depression, or worrisome financial concerns, there are still sunbeams and star bursts of joy, and they stem from one thing: being.

So like I said in my facebook posts, thank you to all my wonderful friends who have been there for me and supported me when I needed you. You are all angels. I hope I can give back some of the joy and help you've given me.

Let's do our best, yes? And don't hold back.