Note to self:

Mari’s newly revised rules for her communication with others:


1. Presume positive intent on behalf of others until they prove otherwise

2. Always try to say exactly what you mean. 

3. Assume everyone else is always smarter than you until they prove otherwise beyond any reasonable doubt. When they say something that confuses you, ask for clarification. Nine times out of ten it’s a simple misunderstanding.

4. When conflict occurs, while presuming positive intent, own up your own mistakes and apologize for them promptly.

5 When conflict occurs do your best to solve it with the other parties, working together fairly and maintain awareness of their points and concerns, without betraying core principles. 

6. If while presuming positive intent communication degrades, or other individual clearly does not have positive intent any longer, disengage all communication as soon as possible. Avoid trying to “prove them wrong, getting in the last word, or emotional responses” (Note that if the communication medium is text based, standard body language cues will be absent; see third point. )

7. When interpersonal communications fail & all further attempts to clarify only worsen things, following the “do no (further) harm” principle, complete cessation is recommended.